A genuine White Christmas is when you can't leave the house without freezing to death and the snow's so deep it's still there in January and the schools have to stay closed. Officially, the last White Christmas here was in 2004, but that merely meant it snowed enough for the bookies to pay out on bets. It's not as if we ever had that many White Christmases in the past on which to look back fondly and unflatteringly compare our modern boring temperate climate's half-hearted attempts at the festive spirit. We've a right to expect the best once a year. Either the weather should oblige us on Christmas Eve by dropping a minimum eight feet of the white stuff on the entire country, or it should just, well, feck off, because why should we be fobbed off with anything less? We work hard. (And from the way some people drive, I'm guessing that's what they're doing).įor another thing, it's Christmas, and the only weather which should legally be allowed to be called "lovely" over the festive season is snow. You might as well close your eyes and guess where you're going, for all the visibility you get in its glare. Especially when it's patently obvious that there's nothing "lovely" about the weather in Ireland at this time of year at all.įor one thing, there's nothing worse than winter sunshine when you're out driving. I don't want someone telling me when it's "lovely" outside or when it isn't, I'm perfectly capable of deciding what I think about the weather myself, thanks very much, without having the spin doctors going to work on sexing it all up beforehand. Maybe the veterans feel threatened by the influx of blonde totty in the weather world, many of whom appear to regard forecasting as one small step on the road to Ulrika-style telly stardom and feel the need to personalise their own deliveries in response. What next - warnings about "naughty" occluded fronts? Where then did the "lovely" come from? Bet she didn't learn that scientific term at Met Eireann. She makes Carol Vorderman look like Benny from Crossroads. No slouch in the brain department, this one. According to the RTE website, she has a BSc and Masters degree in Physics from UCD. But come on, Evelyn's an intelligent woman. Now I know there are terrible things going on in the world far more worthy of annoyance than the weather on RTE.
It just so happens that it was her presenting the forecast I caught by accident last Tuesday, when she told the nation that there was "lovely winter sunshine" all over the country. (Though to be fair, Gerald Fleming does have his own Appreciation Society on the internet, so he must be doing something right). The worst would be - well, it wouldn't be kind to name names, this being Christmas and all, but you know who you are, Gerald. How the hell could cloud cover not vary in that large an area over a 72-hour period?Įvelyn Cusack's not the worst of the bunch on RTE, by any means. Ireland is bigger than Sri Lanka, Tasmania and Taiwan. We're living on the world's 20th biggest island, with a total area of over 30,000 square kilometres. That one, buried away in a three-day forecast, appeared on the Met Eireann website over Christmas.Įr, of course it will vary. "Cloud cover will vary" is my particular bugbear. Now and then, alas, you can't reach the remote control quickly enough and so end up having to endure the sight of well-paid, highly educated people telling you that there may be showers moving in over Munster in the next 48 hours, or that the winds will be light southerly veering to north-westerly later. In fact, scientific tests have proven beyond reasonable doubt that people who purposely stay tuned after the news bulletins in order to catch the weather forecast are clinically insane and should, as a matter of urgency, be isolated from the general population for the safety of themselves and others.
#Bing crosby let it snow let it snow let it snow tv#
He didn't need people on TV doing it on his behalf and then wasting valuable airtime by broadcasting the information that it was raining.
If he wanted to know what the weather was like, he once quipped, he "looked out of the bloody window".
0 kommentar(er)
